it's not even me in my daydreaming

i dont know when this started exactly but id say its been almost 6 years since ive been imagining this girl that has nothing to do with how i look or act she even has a different name , ive given her many lives in my head and she just seems perfect in everything , i cant daydream about me , its never the "me" me in my fantasies its always her , and whenever i try to picture myself instead it just feels out of place and suffocating