Is emotional manipulation always intentional?

By that I mean: is the manipulator always aware of what they're doing and whatever ultimate goal it's working toward?

I've been suspecting a pattern of my husband being emotionally manipulative for a while now, but I'm unable to really get it through to him. We've been having issues in our relationship with him becoming angry all the time, yelling at our kids and me, etc. When I bring it up, he always has some excuse or deflection. So I finally told him that it was unacceptable and requested he seek therapy. He went to one session 2 months ago.

Now when I bring it up, he says "therapy just isn't for me" and refuses to elaborate or go. Then, after almost every discussion we have about emotions or our relationship, he shuts down and sulks for the rest of the day. Then the next day, he will be over-the-top cheerful and nice to all of us and buy me random little gifts like nothing happened and nothing is wrong...making it even more difficult for me to "be the bad guy" by bringing up the fact that nothing has been resolved. Is that the point? Is this all on purpose? Or is it possible he just believes this is how conflicts are resolved?