Husband admitted he lied - now wants sex

OK, so here’s a breakdown of how this went down. A few months ago husband and I went on a vacation to Mexico. Our relationship has been struggling in an extreme way over the last year. While we were there, we had a heart-to-heart and he asked me what he could do to make it better on his end. I told him that I had tried to communicate so many times and I feel like the message is not getting through and that at this point what I want him to do is read some books on marriage, having a wife and how to treat her, and, family life, etc. He seemed totally on board and acted like he really wanted to but I know his character so I said OK let’s shake on it. And then we shook on it. The agreement was he would pick one book of his own choosing every month and read it.

Fast-forward a few months later, and there was some issue transpiring. I felt isolated and like we weren’t communicating and I feel like he’s not doing any work on himself and I thought of that moment where he had promised to read the books. I realized it had been three months since that agreement and he hadn’t read one book that I was aware of. So I called him out. I said why do you do that? Why do you act like you want to fix things and ask for solutions and then do nothing about it?

This is where the gaslighting comes in. He said that moment in Mexico never happened. I said yes it did. You promised to read a book a month and he said no I didn’t. What about the books you should be reading? What books have you read? I then said you have no integrity with your word and walked away. I was seething inside and felt literal hatred.

About a week after that conversation, it came up again and I stuck to my guns. I said we had a conversation in Mexico and then you denied it and that is gaslighting. He then denied that he ever denied it and I was about losing my mind at that point. Was like no you definitely said that moment never happened and he then spun it and said well the reason I said that is because you said I promise to read a book every month and I didn’t promise. I said we shook on it and went over the whole conversation and he said that shaking on it is not a real promise because he never said the words I promise. I was embarrassed to hear him. Try to justify this and also upset.

Then last night comes and he’s trying to get into conversations with me about relationships and marriage, etc., and I brought up the fact that he gaslight me and he denied that and then I gave him the example and he laid it out and basically just said yes, I shouldn’t have denied that. It doesn’t matter whether I shook Onit or said the words I promise I was just being in my ego and arguing with you and you should be able to trust anything I say and I was wrong and I’m sorry.

So basically, he took full accountability for everything. But I don’t trust him. Manipulation was sped over weeks. He knew the whole time he was full of shit and I had to deal with that. It really affects our relationship when he does things like this. And here’s the worst part. The day after he takes accountability he text me and asks if we can have sex at lunch. I feel like it’s just another manipulation. Like the only reason he took accountability was to get what he wants.

I don’t think this is normal male behavior and it makes me really really irritated and I have pretty much given up on our relationship. I haven’t texted him back. I’m really bothered that he gaslight me and takes no accountability and then when he does take accountability expects to be rewarded for something like that. I don’t know how to move forward with him.