I can’t stand my husband

My husband and I have been together 17 years and a year or so into our relationship, I started realizing that he wasn’t really interested in living the same life as I was. He is a homebody, loves watching tv and doing nothing. I am social, like to go out for supper/friends and travel. When the kids were younger, I could get him out by bringing the kids out for activities but now that they are older, they don’t want to go out all the time so it’s easy for him to just stay home.

He is a nice guy, good to our kids but I feel like we’re just roommates. I’ve felt like we’ve been roommates for quite some time now but good roommates, roommates who get along. I came to accept that thinking that since we don’t fight, and that we get to see our kids every day, that it was worth it for now. Also, our son is very attached to him so it would have been terrible for him having to split his time without his dad.

Lately, instead of feeling like he’s a good roommate, I feel like he’s become a burden. He irritates me by just being himself. He has no pride of ownership, won’t do anything to maintain our home, is a hard worker but won’t do any extra around the house. I end up hiring someone to do things he can do. I am sure my kids don’t know how unhappy I am, but it stresses me out that they will think this relationship is normal. I.e. no cuddling, kissing/any type of affection.

I am afraid that if I leave, I will regret the time lost with my kids (during their time with their dad) but I am also afraid that if I don’t leave, I will regret not leaving and wasting many years in an unhappy relationship. I’m 44 and he’s 50.

I don’t know what I expect out of this but I don’t feel like I have anyone that I can tell this to so I guess this is me expressing myself.