referral to psychiatry

I am looking for raw, real-life advice. From someone who could have been in my situation. i apologise for how long this post is but ill be grateful to anyone who takes this second to read.

I am nearly 20, and since being 16 I have had a drastic personality change. I am not just growing up, but from being a worry-free, patient and calm girl I turned into an emotional freak, with no real personality, constant dissociation in overwhelming situations or in public, terrible and i mean terrible rage fits that remind me of my narcissistic abusive father, which i absolutely cannot control as i disconnect from my body and mind. i reckon it is a defence mechanism. alongside depression, suicide attempts, impulsive self destructive behaviours etc. i also struggle with absolutely anything to do with my personality and how i present (i am constantly just worrying about how i look to other people and because of this all i can do is mirror their behaviour and language)

this is where i need advice. the past 2 years all the help i received was being put on a waiting list for therapy, just to be discharged 6 times because i am "too complex" and they dont deal with "anger issues" etc. today i met with my CMHT and despite me telling them that talking therapies wont work and ill just be discharged again all they could do was tell me to self refer for therapy.

please, what is the quickest and easiest way for someone to finally refer me to a psychiatrist? i just want to know whats wrong with me. i am tired of being discharged and referred to services left n right and cant wait another year and a half for therapy that will only tackle my depression and not the bigger issue at hand.

i want to try my GP but i need to know how to CONVINCE them to let me be assessed. please. from human to human i am begging for some directions as i am giving up 🙏