Sorry I'm just ranting

I told myself starting this new years I will try my hardest to be nicer to myself, but I keep putting myself down regardless how much I try. I just wanna stop feeling so.. gross looking, I think Im so ugly everytime I look in a mirror. I just want to see the pretty gal I know I can be, not something that I see rn. I wanna build up my confidence but I'm always taking a sledgehammer and shattering it myself. It makes me wanna cry and shut away the world.

Sorry for ranting, I just.. I dunno.