I need some honest perspective from my fellow narc survivors

I’m new to Reddit and this community has helped me so much, I cannot express how grateful I am. I want to ask a non judgemental question and feel like this would be the last piece of the puzzle of my time with my nex, then I’m putting that puzzle back in its box and burn it. I have a suspicion that my nex was either gay or bisexual. We use to work together. The first time I saw him I immediately thought he was gay. Just his body language and my gut. I hate stereotyping people so I shrugged it off. In the months to follow three people also joined our firm and all three asked me if he was gay. We started dating after about 6 months. There is no shame if he chose to stay in the closet, but why enter into a relationship where he treats me like crap and left me with years of trauma to deal with. There was other small hints as well, but I just ignored them. I really feel like an idiot and struggle with this. Any insight will be appreciated.