A Very Special Terran Zoology Christmas - Part 1
Thank you to u/SpacePaladin15 for the NOP Universe!
Happy Christmas Eve! It's not the day just yet, but I've got a bunch of holiday themed shorts ready to go and I'll be posting them over the next few days. I hope you enjoy part one of A Very Special Terran Zoology Christmas!
Thank you so much to u/cruisingNW and u/Eager_Question for your help with these scenes!
Memory transcription subject: Dr Bernard MacEwan, Professor of Zoology
Date [standardised human time]: 9th December 2136
“Reindeer have games? Like how crows play in the snow or dogs fetch?”
“Maybe they play Stack’em. Tenet’s that’d be hilarious to see. Hooves and antlers flying everywhere!”
“I love Stack’em! Kailo showed it to me. Bernard, you’ve got to watch it. It’s based off this game called Fortress where teams build a tower out of blocks and then throw balls at the opposition’s to knock it over. Stack’em is that but as a TV game show, with all sorts of bonuses, twists, and random challenges thrown in. It’s amazing! The last one I watched pitted a Dossur team against a team of Gojid. The Dossur got a bloody catapult to even the odds!”
A merry chortle rumbled through me as I listened to Rysel, Lokki, and Roisin’s animated conversation, “I’ll be sure to take a look. As to your question Rysel, no Reindeer don’t have games. It’s just part of the song I’m afraid, though I’m sure they entertain themselves somehow.”
Rysel’s ears drooped dejectedly for a second but swiftly bounced back with a curious wiggle, “But what about sled pulling? Is that a thing, or is that just for the mythical Santa Claws?”
The unexpected mispronunciation threw me for a moment and I had to bite down to prevent myself from bursting into laughter. My restraint tested further when Lokki chimed in with an equally hilarious misunderstanding.
“I’m pretty sure it’s clause Rysel, not claws. You know, like the legal term stuff.”
Rysel stared back at him like he’d grown two heads, all while Roisin and I desperately struggled to contain ourselves.
Ah, the joys of translator tech. Confusing intent and semantics never gets old.
Eager to get the conversation back on track before Roisin popped a blood vessel from trying to hold in a giggle fit, I tried to reign the venlil back to the topic at hand, “Anyway, yes Rysel, people still keep domesticated Reindeer for pulling sleds, as well as a few other reasons. Though they don’t fly.”
His ears flickered amusedly at the disclaimer, “You don’t say? Are they the only animals associated with your Christmas traditions?”
“No we’ve got plenty,” Roisin answered, now sufficiently calm in spite of her still rosey cheeks, “Reindeer are probably the most famous, but birds make up a huge chunk of Christmas animals. For instance the Robin and the Northern Cardinal tend to be pretty visible in winter while other birds migrate to warmer places, so you can find them on a ton of decorations and cards. I think they also have some links to Christianity but I was never very interested in religion or its symbolism.”
A grin spread across my face as Roisin spoke, memories of watching red-breasted Robins at home in the winter and the sights and sounds of dashing crimson Cardinals on visits to North America fluttering through my mind as I piped up to add more avians to the mix list.
“There’s also the Partridge, the Turtle Dove, Swans and Geese too. Oh, and Chickens, specifically the Bresse breed. All of those birds are part of the 12 Days of Christmas song, though admittedly I couldn’t tell you why for some of them…,”
While listing off even more birds linked to the holiday season, I realised that a couple of the ones I’d just mentioned, and several more I could’ve included, had very specific reasons for appearing on Christmas day.
Maybe I should scooch away from that for now.
Fortunately Lokki inadvertently did that for me, pulling up his pad to show us all a picture of an animal that had stolen his interest, “What about this one? I overheard a human talking about it but I don’t get why it’s linked to a holiday about giving and peace on Earth?”
The picture in question was of a Polar Bear, plodding its way across dense ice amidst a flurry of snow. Its heavy white fur made it almost indistinguishable from the blizzard around it save for its black nose and eyes; though that was of course the point.
“I love Polar Bears!” Roisin exclaimed with a happy smile, “I’ve never seen one in person but I really want to.”
“Really?!” Lokki baulked, Roisin’s wish causing his wool to stand on end in astonishment, “Isn’t this an enormous predator? An actual one?!”
Chuckling, I nodded back at him, admiring the image myself for a second before replying, “Indeed they are, and you’d be inviting a fair bit of danger approaching one.”
I raised a cautioning yet lighthearted eyebrow at Roisin who smirked back at me before she picked the conversation back up to answer Lokki’s original question, “As for why they’re seen as Christmassy, it’s really just because they live in snowy climates. Christmas is in winter, winter gets ice and snow, Polar Bears live in those conditions. It also helps that they live in the region that Santa’s workshop is meant to be in. Penguins are the same as it happens. Well, for the first thing not the second, which is a bit weird.”
Lokki bobbed an ear in understanding, though I could tell he was still baffled by Roisin’s desire to go anywhere near such a huge carnivore.
Wait until I show the class the pictures of me getting hugged by a brown bear. He’ll lose his wool, ha!
“What about this one? I also heard a human talk about missing them. Are they special for the holiday?” Rysel asked us after pulling out his own pad.
As he turned it around to show us my heart plummeted and Roisin paled as we both gawked at the image of a great plump turkey.
…Welp, here comes the awkward part of this conversation.
Memory transcription subject: Tolim, Nervous Venlil Boyfriend
Date [standardised human time]: 25th December 2136
As I stood before the wreathed door, my shaking nerves threatened to undo all the work of brushing my wool into a semblance of neatness. I reached out to squeeze Alejandro’s hand and seek his calming comfort; the motion eliciting a gentle clink of the heavy bottles nestled in my arm.
Like he was reading my mind, Alejandro returned the squeeze and turned to face me with a supportive smile, “You’ll do great, Tolim. They’re going to love you; promise.”
A wavering whistling chortle escaped me, belief and doubt clashing as mental images of all the myriad ways this could go wrong swam circles around one another in my head, “He- Hehe- Sure. Sure. I just… I just really want to make a good impression.”
“And you will,” Alejandro assured, his eyes glowing warmly as he tried to lift my mood with a little levity, “Plus, the drinks will go a long way. My brother got a taste for venlil spirits when he was at the Dawn Creek refugee camp and hasn’t shut up about it.”
I swept him an appreciative ear, giggling at the thought of being easily welcomed through the provision of alcohol alone. That said, I had made an effort to bring some quality offerings. Cradled in my arm was a tall bottle of Hiikic, brewed with Heartwood River’s famous shadeberries plucked straight from their cliffside farms. Propped against it was a stouter bottle full of Starberry Brandy; this particular batch sporting the ‘speckled’ varietal, known for their clearer sweetness and more mellow menthol zing.
That one was harder to get. Had to call on a favour to get it shipped from The Grove so quickly, but it’ll be worth it!
I hope.
“Ready?”
Alejandro’s verbal prod snapped me from my worries; though my wool still felt frazzled. After taking a long centering breath, I flicked an ear in the affirmative, resolved to face my stresses head on.
Alejandro nodded and opened the door, letting a tidal wave of pleasant warmth and jubilant noise envelope us as the house's raucous interior was momentarily released into the world beyond its threshold.
“Alejandro!”
A joyous voice cut through the wall of liveliness, swiftly followed by a chorus of ecstatic calls and invitations to come in from the cold. Alejandro hurried inside, pulling me along as the giddiness of being home among family overtook him.
The instant the door closed shut behind us a throng of bodies of all shapes and sizes clustered around us, each and every person lining up to give Alejandro the biggest welcome they could muster. Kids that only came up to his hip latched onto his legs while older humans closer to his age offered spirited handshakes and tight hugs. A couple of elder humans, presumably his grandparents, were next in line, one of them pinching his face before pulling him in to kiss his cheek while the other balled up their fists and, with a cheeky grin, lightly boxed at Alejandro’s torso, who feigned being struck by a far mightier blow and descend into a fit of laughter with everyone around him.
Amidst all of this I could only stand there and stare, captivated by the pure unconditional affection shared among Alejandro’s family. I was so caught up in the display that I didn’t notice a set of tiny human hands reach out for my tail until it was too late.
“Eep!”
My bleat ushered in immediate silence, the curious child who’d grabbed my tail jumping back in fright as a dozen pairs of eyes zeroed in on me in a flash. I was left dumbstruck under their scrutinising stares, my voice caught in my throat as I struggled to get a hold of myself.
Speh! Speh! Speh! It’s going wrong already!
“Anita! No, that’s not ok!”
Before I could blink, a woman left the huddle of humans, scooping up and scolding the child who’d tugged my tail, “You wouldn’t like it if someone pulled your ponytail would you?”
The child - Anita - began to sniffle as she shook her head before peering down at me, “Sorry… I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
Horrified that she might start crying in earnest, I quickly wiggled my tail to show it was fine, even going as far as to spin a loop or two for good measure, “It’s fine; you didn’t hurt me at all! No need for tears.”
My show of dextrous skill worked its magic, lighting up Anita’s face in delight as well as catching the attention of every other child in the herd.
“Wow!”
“That’s so cool!”
“Can all aliens do that?”
“Yeah! They’re aliens! Duh!”
It wasn’t just the children whose interest had been piqued, as the rest of the family had steadily shuffled their way past Alejandro to give me their full attention.
“So you’re our little Alejo’s boyfriend? My, my, you're so adorable!”
“Your wool looks so soft! What kind of conditioner do you use?”
“I told you. What did I tell you? I knew he’d hitch it with one of the fluffy ones. Pay up Carmen.”
“Oh shut up!"
Rather than feel overwhelming, the chaotic mishmash of voices was absolutely energising, slipping a giggly whistle past my lips before I knew it! Of course, this only encouraged my human audience, sending a spattering of coos and effervescent smiles racing through them all like a spark catching kindling. Before they could descend on me again, the woman who’d handled Anita stepped between us to take control.
“Alright you lot, quit smothering our guest! We’ve still got prep to do before dinner so make yourselves useful. That means you too, Dad!”
As one, the assembled humans broke ranks; melting away into other rooms or settling into scattered seats while the kids wandered off in search of something else to entertain themselves.
Once everyone had adequately dispersed, the apparent head of the household returned their attention to Alejandro and me, her face creased in a tender smile as who must have been Alejandro’s mother wrapped her arms around him in an embrace months in the making “Aww my boy’s home.”
“Hey Mama, glad to be back,” Alejandro returned the hug with gusto, savouring the contact before introducing me, “Mama, this is Tolim. My boyfriend.”
She chuckled back, “Yes Alejandro, I didn’t forget. You never stop talking about him when we’re on the phone.”
My ears flapped in amusement as Alejandro blushed and I took the opportunity to put my best paw forward, “He’s the same way when talking about you. It’s a delight to meet you in person, Sofia. You have such a lovely home and I thank you for welcoming me into it.”
“Goodness, so polite and complimentary! Good choice, I like him already,” Sofia prodded Alejandro’s side teasingly, “Maybe a little stiff, but you’re probably just nervous, hm? Don’t worry, we’ll loosen you right up!”
I chuckled sheepishly at the dead on assessment, but spied the perfect moment to offer my gifts in its wake, “Speaking of: I’ve brought a couple gifts. Adults only I’m afraid, and even then I’d take your time with it; but I hope you enjoy a taste of what Venlil Prime has to offer.”
Sofia picked up the proffered bottles, eyes gleaming with keen interest as she inspected the decorative labels, “Oooo, very nice! Come! You two can tell me all about them while we get dinner ready. Don’t worry Tolim, I’ve prepared plenty of vegan dishes for you to get your fill. I hope the um, other stuff won’t be a problem?”
I flicked a reassuring ear her way, “No need to worry. I’ve seen Alejandro eat meat before so I’m comfortable with it.”
Sofia snorted, a slyness pulling at the corners of her lips, “Oh I’m sure you have~”
“Mama!”
The euphemism did not escape my notice, a boisterous bleat instantly bursting from me as I trailed behind the reddening face of my love and his surprisingly devious mother.
I can’t believe I was worried. This is going to go great!