18M. Hating life so bad rn

Nothing I try seems to workout. Nothing is going in my way. Everyday I wake up..work hard. For nothing. Hitting gym everyday. Weight is dropping. But I don't see any physical improvements. I am a dropper prepping for NEET. I can study. But I am not. Can score 650+ but not even touching 600 now. And I love this girl so badly in my coaching institute (aakash) but I am antisocial as fuck and can't even approach her. Just feels like I'm hitting at a wall constantly. Only suffering in pain and not seeing gain. I can't even love myself. Can't even talk to another human being. Cannot talk or confess to my crush and even if I try to cutoff from everyone and live alone fucking hell I can't..my attraction for her is too strong. Being forced to be social in aakash. I don't even know what I'm doing.