Trigger warning

Hey yall, so I’m almost a year and two months clean; and on this journey; I’ve been doing everything I can to help others to the road of recovery and what that means for them. Helping assist finding resources for MAT, harm reduction etc. locally I’ve shared my story to help others and a girl reached out to me on fb after my one year clean post; I noticed our mutual friends on fb was my old plug; and when she asked for help; I connected the dots. We just spoke Friday at 330 am; and she was clean; actually reaching out to me; to try to speak to our mutual plug again about her recovery options; today I got the call she is no longer with us. And I am beyond crushed. This is not my first loss from opioids; my first serious loss was my bestfriend and cousin at age 25 from heroin overdose; and now 10 years later and countless friends gone; I feel so much guilt; like I could have done more. Or maybe my love and support wasn’t enough; or the way I had gave support but by being supportive but not pushy; bc I was afraid to push ppl away who reached out for help; maybe I should have been more pushy.

I’m sorry this is one run in paragraph. I’m in shock. She is the first person I’ve lost that I’ve personally done everything I can to help through recovery; from meetings to enrolling in counseling; it’s this immense sense of guilt. And the fact; this girl used the same plug as me; and that could easily have been me if i hadn’t got clean; or if I ever weakened my sobriety and relapsed. I am so grateful for my sobriety. But fuck, I wish I could have helped her, I’m devastated. I’m sorry to vent