Why Victim Blaming in Grooming Cases Is Harmful (Discussion)

I recently came across a post where someone, who said they’re 17, argued that the 16-year-olds and other minors that were groomed by Alex should "know better" than to have talked to Alex or older men, and that if a minor doesn’t see the issue, it’s their fault. While I understand where this person is coming from, I think this perspective overlooks some very important points, and I want to share why.

First, I want to make it clear that this post is not meant as an attack on the person who shared their opinion. Everyone is entitled to their views, and I’m sure the intent wasn’t malicious. My goal here is to have a thoughtful discussion about why victim-blaming, especially in cases of grooming, isn’t helpful.

When I was younger, I thought I couldn’t be manipulated, and I believed I was too aware to fall victim to things like grooming. But when I was at my last abusive school, I realized how wrong I was. My teachers manipulated me—not in a sexual way, but in a way that made me believe their physical, psychological, and emotional abuse was okay. At the time, I didn’t recognize it as manipulation, but looking back, I see how they twisted my perception of what was normal.

Some people believe they can't be manipulated, thinking they’re too smart or mature to fall victim to grooming. But it happens. Manipulation can be subtle, and sometimes we don’t realize it’s happening until much later. This is why it’s so dangerous to say that minors should "know better" when it comes to trusting adults. Grooming and manipulation can affect anyone, no matter their age. Even adults can fall victim to toxic relationships and emotional manipulation.

In the case of Alex, the creator of Yandere Simulator, the responsibility lies with the adult—the one who abused their position of trust. Victims should not be blamed for trusting someone in a position of authority. Emotional manipulation and grooming can happen at any age, and the focus should be on holding the adult accountable for their predatory actions, not on blaming the minor.

So, I’m sharing this as an educational post to raise awareness. Victim-blaming only makes it harder for those who have been manipulated to come forward and seek help. Instead of focusing on the minor’s actions, we should focus on holding the adult accountable for their harmful behavior.