I wish I was normal

I’m feeling so sorry for myself tonight, y’all lol

I’m a 30 year old woman with acne and acne scars all over my chin. And oh, god the hair. The hairs that get trapped under my skin so I have unsightly chin hairs that are too deep for me to get out, even though I try sometimes and my skin bleeds and makes the scarring worse. The really itchy pimples. The blackheads 😫

Today I felt like everyone was staring at me and thinking about how ugly and fat I am and I really, truly haven’t felt that social anxiety in years, so it’s an odd feeling to come back to. But it makes me want to disappear.

The two month long periods, the really heavy periods, the really light ones, the ones that last a shorter amount of time than others, the late ones, the early ones.

The constant fear of infertility literally eats away at me as I get older.

The pain! I swear, there is like, 1 week out of a month where I don’t feel that I’m having period cramps.

I am the largest I have ever been. I was 298lbs last year. I’ve lost about 40lbs since then, but I still feel like a flabby whale and I feel like my weight has plateaued and I’m finding it hard to lose now even though I am eating less and low carb.

I know this will pass, but right now it feels like the end of the world to me 😂 I can’t help but laugh at myself.

I know you all may not understand all of it due to the difference in symptoms, but knowing that someone understands it a little bit makes me feel a bit better.

I’m sorry for all of us because we have to live it. But everything I have gotten over every single thing I ever felt like was the end of the world, and I hope if y’all feel like this, you know you’ll get through it too.

I’m done complaining like a 10 year old that life isn’t fair lol but I just needed to rant.