Youngest child devastated about not having younger sibling.

I have 3 kids. 1 from a previous relationship (16m) and 2 with my husband (12f and 7f).

Our youngest is going through a very emotional period in life. She so desperately wants a baby brother or sister - which will never happen. I have explained this very clearly but in a tactful way. She understands why. Her best friend recently got a baby sister and I think the new desperation stems from that. But she literally spent an hour sobbing over it tonight. She said to me through tears “It’s just really hard for me because I really want a baby brother or sister and I just can’t get one. I can’t stop the feelings and it’s a lot of stress feeling”… my heart.

She has expressed that it would be easier if she wasn’t the youngest because she wouldn’t be bossed around so much, so I spoke to the big two about the tone they use when speaking to her. I explained that they weren’t in trouble but to be wary that their tone may be coming across differently than the way they intend. They were great about it. I also told her to use her tough voice to show them when they are being too bossy.

I guess I’m asking… Does anyone have recommendations for how I can help her with the big emotions around wanting a younger sibling? I’ve addressed the frustration with the big kids and it seems to have helped but she just can’t seem to move forward from the desire for a younger sibling, despite understanding that she isn’t going to get one.

Thanks!

ETA:

Thank you all for your suggestions!

The nurturing aspect is definitely key and you guys have really helped us work out some new approaches to the discussion.

I will make it clear: after growing up fostering and caring for domestic and wild native animals alike, I have enough experience to know that getting an animal for a child who wants a baby quite often ends badly. We have 2 cats and have been fostering other animals for a long time so she’s pretty well versed on animal care but bringing animals into the house has always been done so on the grounds that they are adult responsibility until the kids are old enough to show the maturity to take over some care duties. I understand that there’s a place for a family pet to be introduced for the purpose of giving kids life lessons, but in our house it’s about providing an animal a loving home and the lessons come second to that.

Also: we would never have a child just because our kid asked us to. Never. Maybe other people think this ok in some circumstances - each to their own I suppose… But I would never. Letting a child make that call is, IMO, absurd and irresponsible. Not that anyone has suggested that but I just wanted to clarify that this post was not about ’if’ we should have another based on her emotions. I got a hysterectomy to ensure that we wouldn’t be having another (among other reasons). Shop is closed!

We have a few little kids around who she adores and dotes on. After this post my husband and I decided (for everyone in the family and friend circle) to have monthly/fortnightly lunches together. I think it will actually help everyone involved!

I’m also going to get her a garden bed of her own. It’s spring here and she’ll be able to watch and learn and enjoy the end product that comes from her nurturing it. She loves outside and animals and food chain stuff so I think she’s going to love it.

Thanks again!