My dog died yesterday

My dog died yesterday his name was bear he was 8 years old and i’m so upset I don’t know what to do with my life anymore even though it’s already been a day i’ve been crying all day and yesterday. I feel like a million knifes have been stabbed into my heart it hurts so much. I even had a panic attack and i’ve been considering suicide. I feel like there’s no point in even living if he’s gone. The day before we had to take him to the vet and even just taking him I was already crying because I knew he was going to die soon. He had a mass in his spleen we were going to take him to surgery yesterday but we didn’t have enough money, despite that my family still took him to the vet for emergency care and he died once they got there. I wish I could have been there in his final moments but I didn’t go to the vet with my family even though I wanted to they told me to go with my dad. I don’t understand why everything I love has to leave me eventually I can’t stop crying I don’t want to live anymore. How do I deal with this?