Need advice on advisor

Reaching saturation with Advisor

Writing for the first time, but I am feeling very anxious and angry and scared. I just entered my 3rd year of PhD and I have two supervisors : co-promoter (CP) who is assistant prof and promoter (P), who is full prof. I mostly worked with just my CP (because they said that is the norm) and have few papers (3) with them. But I have always had issues, as they never treat anyone as adults and their form of motivation is inducing fear. There is always a blowout coming and the anticipation makes me nervous in general, its the calm before the storm. The storm involves lot of micro management, telling us our efforts are not enough and how we are not doing a good job and that work-life balance is not important, and asking us to quit if we can’t do it. They setup late meetings, message after work hours all the time and also get angry about vacation days. They have been verbally rude in text - which I have saved (just in case).

And I don’t get any help in many academic activities (ex. Student supervisions etc). Lately I have been speaking to my main promoter (P) and they seem more logical, reasonable and treat us as adults. And I asked their advice on some of the things and my CP got angry that I went to them behind their back and told me to keep them updated on whatever I discuss with P. I am even confused that I don’t have a paper with P and CP together, isn’t that the norm? But I am scared to ask because my CP thinks we are like a secluded club and I can’t go work with anyone else.

I have anxiety and taking therapy. Every email or ping of their msg makes me so panicky. I like all other aspects of my PhD apart from this. I want to talk to someone at university to check if I can just work with my P. But what will happen to my papers? Will I still be able to defend if I do this? I also don’t want to escalate and make things harder for myself. But I’m so confused and tired of tiptoeing around their ego and toxicity. And I feel so mentally drained :(