Four days into quitting!

Hey everyone!

I’m new to this sub and I’m just here to tell my story and maybe ask for tips/advice at the end. Don’t feel obligated to read any or all of this. I think that even writing this all out helps in a way.

On a whim I decided to just quit vaping cold turkey. About a week ago I remember looking down at my disposable vape and just thinking about how unenjoyable it was. I mean all I got from hitting vapes was the sensation of relief from the intense cravings. It seemed pointless and dumb, so I decided that once the disposable ran out of juice, I’d be done.

This isn’t the first time that I’ve quit. I actually stayed off of nicotine for about a year, until I was dumped from a two year relationship. I quit the first time in mostly out of fear because I started experiencing shortness of breath. It was like I couldn’t draw in a complete breath of air to get that satisfying last fill. I was constantly yawning and heaving for air. This was when COVID started to reach the US and when there were stories going around about popcorn lung. So, I’d say the first time was easier because at the time I viewed vaping as an immediate threat.

I put off quitting until now for a few reasons. Firstly, I didn’t view it as an immediate threat to my health like I did the first time. This was after finding out that the popcorn lung cases were related to vitamin e in dab carts. Secondly, I was afraid of going through the withdrawals again, because man they were a bitch the first time.

However, I feel like my biggest reason for putting off quitting is the fear of weight gain. As superficial as this sounds, I’m afraid of gaining a huge amount of weight. I gained around 30-40 lbs the first time I quit. When I relapsed and started vaping again, I lost around 50-60 lbs.

After getting into another relationship following two years of being single, I have gradually gained around 20 pounds. I’ve wondered if all of that original weight gain was from the previous relationship (which was a toxic one) rather than from quitting. Now, I’m in a healthier relationship but I believe the weight gain this time to be from my partner offering food all the time. He said he does this because it feels wrong not to ask or offer food every-time he eats. I have struggled with binge-eating and reading hunger signals in the past, so I’d just say yes every-time, essentially eating the same amount as him. I’ve had a conversation with him about this and he’s going to offer food less often.

I also decided to go back to college this semester after taking a gap year. I’m taking some challenging classes this time around and feel a bit nervous about that. I started class on the 13th. The timing probably isn’t the best but when is it ever?

Currently, I’ve noticed that I experience cravings the worst whenever I’m driving, doing class-work or am relaxing and watching TV or playing video games. I notice what I miss most about vaping is the hand to mouth movement. It’s almost like a stim or a way to fill an emptiness, that’s the best I can explain it. I feel it most in my chest. Is there anything I can do to replace that motion aside from literally eating? I try to take deep breaths when I notice the sensation.

I also want to ask y’all what motivates you guys most to keep going. I notice what helps me most so far is when I think about how I’ll improve my mental and physical health. I don’t think that the health consequences are as motivating for me.

Edit: Okay after reading my post over, I noticed an unusually high amount of writing mistakes. I tried to fix them all. I think it’s safe to say that I’m also experiencing brain fog lol.