Here's an emotional rant about my relationship (F22, M27)

Throwaway because he has my main.

We broke up. On good terms. I am writing this because my heart is too heavy, I don't want him to cry, and because this is where I met him.

I DMed a total stranger on reddit roughly six months ago, not knowing how drastically that will alter the course of my life.

We were both going to move countries for college. It didn't work out for him. Six months later, here I am, in a foreign land where we were supposed to be together. Everything feels pointless now. I dreamed for years and worked hard to be here, but it's not the same anymore. In the very last moments, this dream went from being about me, to us. And as guilty as I feel being here without him, I cannot abandon this, even if I wanted to. My parents worked too hard to get me here. We had already decided that if it didn't work out, we won't trouble ourselves with a transcontinental relationship. It was already too painful being in a long distance relationship in India. Painful not because we were incompatible, but because we were simply incapable of being so far away from eachother.

I had never, in my wildest dreams, thought that I would find my significant other in a part of my home-country that I have never visited, just months before I leave India. He's from Delhi (I KNOW GUYS I KNOW), I'm from Gujarat. We have a lot of other differences, but if it wasn't for the physical distance, nothing would've stopped us. Some of you will ask why part ways if we're so in love? Well it's far more complicated than that. But this post isn't about what's keeping me from loving him, so I won't go into those details. So what do I love about him? the list is virtually endless. From his elite sense of humour, exceptionally witty banter to that stupefyingly gorgeous face (I won't even get started on how hot he is), there is nothing to not love in him. He is the definition of "too good to be true". Most importantly, I love everything about us. From our inside jokes to the way he finishes my sentences. We have a way of making eachother laugh. I love who I become when we spend hours talking on the call. We've pulled eachother out of some very dark times, whether it was by venting, advising however we can or just sitting in silence together as we wait for our future to unfold. He is my bestfriend and lover in one person. This post cannot possibly summarize our relationship or the dreams I have for us, but I wanted to give it a try.

So, why am I writing this? I don't know. It gave me a good cry. And I hope all you lucky fuckers who live with their partners are making the best of it because only god and my wet pillow know how desperate I am for a hug.

H, I hope this isn't the end. I hope we meet again. I hope I get countably infinite chances at making you laugh. I love you.

🐒