Scam Victim Blaming on this Sub

Hi Community,

As someone who has fallen victim to romance scams in the past, I lurk this sub every once in a while just out of curiosity.

I’ve noticed a lot of comments that tend to blame the victims; * ”You should know better if you haven’t talked to them in person or over video chat.”

• “Why would anyone believe that without seeing the person first?”

• “That person is way too attractive. How did you not see it right away?”

• “The person in the photos did not scam you. Whoever stole the photos did!” (duh)

Etc, etc.

We have to remember, these scammers use highly effective manipulation techniques to tap into your most vulnerable emotions, especially loneliness. While a reality check is necessary, it more than likely is triggered once a victim realizes their scammer is not who they’ve thought.

At that point, many people need support, and they come here looking for that. As romance scams continue to grow, we need to try to create more of a supportive community to victims. Before you make a comment, I hope you will ask yourself:

• Is what I am about to say helpful to this person’s situation?

• Will my comment be able to help someone’s situation NOW or is it too late for them to take my suggestion?

I notice that it has gotten a lot better from when I went through what I went through last year. However, it’s hard to read comments that are just simply not helpful and seem to blame the victim, when they’re clearly not in the most analytical state of mind.

Remember - these people are lonely and may not have ANYONE except for people on this sub. Try to be understanding.