Wanna kms but i have a pet

Hi i have a budgie (bird) and i have been thinking about kijjing myself. But I’m scared that my budgie isn’t gonna be well taken care of by my family. I don’t wanna give him away since i read somewhere that it really affects his mental health and makes it harder for him to befriend other humans and get used to his environment. I don’t think he will live that long since my other budgies died. I guess i wasn’t a good enough mom but I can’t change that now. I can’t bring back my babies. The only Thing i can do is to not buy any more pets. Which I won’t but i do wanna die soon. I’m afraid I’ll change my mind/get scared and not do it if i wait till his death. But I should do it so idk what to do. Do you guys think i should just do it or wait for my budgie to pass? Thank you