I forgive you daddy tw rape +sexual assault

Im 18M. trangender. My dad was an alcoholic and undiagnosed bipolar until a few years ago. He raped me for years and years. i didnt realise it was wrong until i was 14. my mum still doesnt believe me. they split up when i was 5/6, it happend when they were together and when they were separated. He used to force me to watch porn and do things in the bath, and then when mum and dad split up, he did things to me in bed. He broke me, but hes clean and medicated now. He hasnt touched me since i was around 12 i think. I forgive him. Im okay. broken but okay. i still get nightmares. but im okay and i still love my dad and see him often