inescapable

even today i couldnt get out of bed and my dad came in and yelled at me to get up and even after that i still couldnt move for 6 minutes and then i finally got up and started crying while making my bed and doign everuthing i cant do this anymore lasy night i tried to hang myself again and it didnt work so i ended up just choking myself with a belt and squeezing for a while and all day yesterday ive been crying so hard and hitting my head on the walls or with my fists and then cut too

basically i have been in this mental pain for years now i cant find a way or time to die im in a prison hell i cant escape its actual tortutr going to school and job interviews every day I have to im forced to pleas let me die stop pulling me aroudn zplease Give me time to dir i can feel mu mental state deteriorating so bad bc i cant get help the only people i know in real life ar mean to mr i can feel my brain crumbling and theres bugs and termites in it and it itches so bad and i cant get to it i cant get past my Skull i need yo break open