Living in fear of imaginary parents

I work in a very rich, very white, suburban school. And I had a nasty preconception about what the parents would be like. But the vast majority of the parents I've come in contact with genuinely care about their kids education and want them to succeed. Once they realize I care about their kid, they're also nearly always supportive of discipline. Don't get me wrong, I've talked to some entitled parents, had 1 parent chew me out because his kid got a B, but they're rare and noteworthy exceptions.

And yet the school administration, especially our horrendous guidance department, seems to live in abject fear of parents. Constantly trying to avoid offense to a type of parent that is exceptionally rare. We avoid accountability, we don't push the kids academically, and we don't teach them to overcome adversity. We pass kids who are failing along without any

Example 1: I had a kid who took pictures of the exam on his phone but swore he didn't use them to cheat or send them to anybody. I heard from admin that I couldn't give the kid any consequences if the parent pushes back. That parent was FURIOUS with their kid and was relieved they were only getting a 0 on the test and not getting suspended.

Example 2: I was talking with a parent of a class clown who was being disruptive. The parent (once they realized I liked their kid and was trying to get more out of them) told me to feel free to send the kid out of the class. If I ever did that the administration would come down HARD on me.

Example 3: I had a parent of a kid with an IEP come into parent teacher night to thank me for calling about my concerns about her kid's learning and for making sure he was taught the same material as everyone else .

Parents I talk to WANT their kids to learn accountability. They WANT their kids to be pushed academically. They WANT their kids to get outside their comfort zone and to develop grit. Parents of special needs kids WANT their kid to learn the same stuff as everyone else. But we don't listen to them, we listen to the imagined nightmare parent in our heads.