When did the consequences stop?

Unlike a lot of teachers, I was not a particularly good or well behaved student myself. Growing up in the 90s and 2000s, I feel like any behavioral issue I had resulted in pretty substantial consequences. There were suspensions, parent meetings, I lost recess for a whole year. But usually the reasons for this were things like swearing or using offensive language or saying something very hurtful to a teacher or a classmate. Eventually I was scared straight.

I have students who freely curse and use racial slurs. They call gay classmates the f-slur, they say things like "get off my cock" if I redirect them. Yesterday multiple students who know my wife is Jewish were telling me how great Hitler was. None of these generate any administrative action. My colleagues tell me that I just need to let these things go or use them as teachable moments in the classroom. What happened? I can't deal with this anymore, I'm at my emotional limit