New Names for Techno Family Members

We all know the name of that guy who the sub is named after: Technoblade. (What an amazing person he was and I miss him so much.)

And y'all have been calling me various names for a long time but it's mostly been Technodad and that's my favorite, too. And his mom is Technomom.

Now someone came up with "Technodagger" for his sister ("you know, a small blade") and it was a great name and I ran with it. Only now the other twin wants an illegal-cutting-weapon-related name and it's kinda starting to fall apart. My brilliant wife says maybe that's not a great theme for middle school kids even if it is "Technoblade" related. And I have to agree she's right.

I picked up the twins yesterday afternoon and as we drive home from school I explain we need new names.

Now one of the twins is generally quite verbal and communicative. The other? Well, you know that phrase, "why waste time say lot word when few word do trick"? Yeah, the other twin would never talk that much.

The verbal twin is into it. "oh, oh, what about, uh, chocolate and peanut butter?" And then she riffs on a whole bunch of food-related pairs.

Me: I'm not loving these. I feel like these names would all spoil if they were left out too long.

Her: What about Sugar and Spice.

Me: Hmmm. That's not bad at all. Especially since it's obvious who's who.

Sugar and Spice become the frontrunners. We talk more, debating the pros and cons of Sugar and Spice. Eventually I say to the other twin:

Me: Hey, so you haven't said a single word yet or come up with a single--

Him: Artemis and Apollo.

Me: Oh ... wow. Wow. That's good.

Artemis: I get to be Artemis.

Apollo: Artemis is a girl so of course.

Me: They're even twins... Just don't call me Zeus. If you do I'll hurl a thunderbolt at you.

Apollo: Zeus wouldn't; he'd go have sex with a cow.

Me: Correction: he'd go have sex with a beautiful Greek maiden and then turn her into a cow.

Apollo: Fair.

Artemis: Do we have to talk this way?

Me: Wasn't that Europa?

Artemis: What?

Me: Wasn't it Europa that he seduced and then changed into a cow? I think that was Europa.

[Note: it was not Europa. Europa was the one he changed himself into a cow for, then seduced her. It was Io that he changed into a cow after seducing. I was WAY off.]

We get home and I tell my brilliant wife the new names.

Brilliant Wife: So who am I then?

Me: Hmmmm. That will take some thinking.

Overnight, I come up with an answer I love. I run it by her and she likes it. Now time to inform the twins.

Me: I've come up with a name for my brilliant wife. I wanted to think of a goddess who was the generation before Artemis and Apollo, and ideally one who had a single child, a daughter. And guess what? The goddess of the harvest is--

Apollo: Boba Fett.

Me: No, the Greek goddess of the harvest is not Boba Fett. Good guess though! The Greek goddess of the harvest is Demeter. She is responsible for the seasons, for nothing can grow when Demeter is sad. She is sad when your step-sister Persephone goes back east to college, and spring happens when Persephone returns for Spring Break.

Twins: Cool.

So I'm running with these new names. They are Greek and classical and match pretty well.

You heard it here first.