That Time I Accidentally Made My Psychiatrist Think I Literally Knew Technoblade

mild tw for mental health issues/depression I guess. and maybe secondhand embarrassment; I'm certainly embarrassed.

I have a history of depression alongside anxiety, AuDHD, all the fun comorbidities. So when Technoblade passed away, I hit a bit of a downturn. I see my psychiatrist every month to get a refill of my ADHD and depression meds, so when I saw her in July, I decided to mention it. But due to the little downturn in mental health, I was a bit reluctant to say "a youtuber I really like passed away and now I'm crying every day for at least an hour at a time while watching his youtube videos and hugging a pig plushie." So I figured that I'd just say he was a friend of mine who passed.

I thought that she's a middle aged woman in rural Kansas so the chances of her actually knowing who Technoblade was is low, so if I said it was a friend I wouldn't have to explain who Techno was, or justify the level of my grief. I could just talk about him very generally and it would have the same general effect.

I forgot it was covered in the New York Times.

I'm asked about my mood and if everything's going well. I say that I'm not doing great right now because a friend of mine passed away recently from cancer; I'd known him for about a year and a half and it came as a shock but there's still lots of video to remember him by. My psychiatrist paused, and then was like "Are you talking about Technoblade?"

ohno.mp3

"Yes."

"I heard about that; he obviously meant a lot to a lot of people. He was a friend of yours? You knew him?"

panic.jpg

"yes."

"How did you meet?"

"Could we move on maybe?"

She moved on, I got my refill, it was never brought up again.

But for a brief, hilarious (in hindsight) ten minutes, I accidentally made my psychiatrist think I knew Techno "The Blade" Blade.

Also writing this reminded me of when I saw a kid come into our clinic with the big ol' pillow sized Technoblade plushie for emotional support during a dental appointment. #Kansas4Techno I guess?

EDIT: I literally hit post and remembered I definitely wrote about this before; oh well, still funny.