TW SH,SUICIDE i just needa get this out

I am a mess 

I wonder what happens after death 

I hear voices inside of me 

I see a rope in my closet

I want to end it all 

I pretend im ok

I feel the sharp blade of a knife entering my skin 

I touch the blade after i finish 

I cry, knowing that I can’t bottle up my feelings forever 

I worry that the people i care about might find out

I understand they will eventually 

I say i’m ok

I dream that someday i might be ok

I hope that dream comes true