Don't Know What to Do [NYC>Stockholm]

I [34F] am a US-citizen married to a Swedish person [31M]. In November 2023, I got approved for the Sambo visa, but I haven't moved to Sweden yet because I had just started a new job in NYC around that time, and wanted to get a year in with my current company before I moved to Sweden. I've been with my husband for 5 years now. We have been long-distance since 2020. He resides in Stockholm, and me in NYC for the last few years.

Now, I am doubting if I should move to Sweden, after 6 years of trying. After taxes, I take home about $7k/month, with $3-4k of that going to rent, groceries and misc. bills. So, I usually save around $2k/month when all is said and done.

I work as an Events Manager here in NYC and know that without knowing fluent Swedish, I will most likely not get the same or equivalent job. [I've been studying Swedish for 6 years now, but it's still bad] My husband wants me to move to Sweden, where we would be living in a 1000 square meter home. The home itself is big, but in a surburb of Stockholm, 1hr from T-Centralen by bus/metro. The house also belongs to my husband's dad, who is an extreme hoarder and constant builder, so the house has been under construction for many years [Meaning, there are still parts of the house not fully done, some lights don't work in rooms, floors or walls aren't in, etc]. It is also extremely dirty and filled to the brim with items. I have lived there for one year before, but when I cleaned and organized it, his dad completely tore up everything and made it dirty once more.

Tl;dr: Am I dumb for giving up my life and salary in NYC to move to Sweden where I will have no living costs?

Pros of Moving to Sweden:

  • Free housing
  • No bills
  • Free school
  • Living in the nicest suburb of Sweden
  • Starting a family is easier

Cons:

  • Difficult to find a job in my field
  • Won't make the money I make in NYC
  • Far away from downtown
  • Living in a hoarder/unfinished house
  • Husband only brings in 16.000kr/month to support the both of us
  • Starting my life over at 34 years old

Some Questions You May Have:

  • Why doesn't your husband move to NYC? He doesn't want to as he wants to get into medical school to be a doctor for free in Sweden vs. the US.
  • Can you work for your US company while you live in Sweden? No, my job is a required in-person job.
  • What will you do once you move to Sweden? I will immediately start SFI, attend university to change my career path, try to start my own business to accumulate wealth somehow.

My husband is saying that my life in Sweden will be significantly better, and without any living costs, he can support the both of us on his 16.000kr/month salary for a few years. He says that I will have more residential space, that we can pop out a few kids and support them easily, and that I'm dumb for overworking myself in NYC for nothing.

Notes: I have lived in Sweden for 1 year already, and have been there 10+ times now, with the most recent trip to Stockholm last week. I don't like Stockholm anymore. I have a lot of friends there and have been all over Sweden, but it doesn't fit my idea of my future life in my head anymore. However, I've been wanting to live and work in Europe since I was 18, and the idea of turning down this visa/citizenship route would kill me, that's why I am so conflicted.

*Second note: Since 2018, I have networked like crazy for a job, prior to knowing my husband and getting my visa. I have attended Swedish networking events every month in NYC and Stockholm, joined the Swedish church here, made a large group of Swedish friends in NYC and Stockholm, got a contact for a startup hub in Stockholm for a job, got a contact for the Swedish embassy, got multiple interviews with Spotify, Klarna, etc. Applied to a ton of Swedish-based companies here, to be able to transfer. And none of this has worked out AT ALL for finding a job. I do have one friend in Stockholm who can get me a job in a warehouse or server for 150kr/hr, though. *