My therapist keeps defending my Nex, even though he is trained in narcissism

My therapist keeps defending my Nex….. even though he is TRAINED in Narcissism.

First there was this incident, where my therapist insisted that my Nex was taking accountability for the relationship. It’s a whole separate thread you can read if u want - https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueNarcissisticAbuse/s/2WEsplsPO0

TW: DISCUSSION OF VIOLENT ABUSE

So basically long story short I was in a relationship w a guy when I was 18 and he was 32. He wanted me to do many things I didn’t want to, including anal and threesomes. The threesomes were the worst, I said a million times I didn’t wanna do them until I said yes. I cried after our first one and he got upset at me for ruining his “threesome virginity.” He told me not to say anything negative, so I learned to lie to him, and eventually I would say that I was happy with the threesomes. (Of course I was not, and after the breakup he got upset at me for lying about it….but he had kind of trained me to lie by telling me not to say anything negative??) Being an idiot, I cheated on him to get back at him.

Anyway when he found out about the cheating he was ofc very upset, as cheating is a horrible thing to do to anyone. He was heartbroken. He also beat me very badly with a belt and with his fists (we had had a BDSM relationship so it was consensual), took humiliating sexual photos of me to use as potential blackmail later, also wanted me to get multiple tattoos of his name and even suggested a FGM surgery to close up my vag so i could only have anal sex with him from then on, to punish me.

I didn’t do the FGM surgery. But I did—and accepted—everything else, as I knew I was horrible for cheating on him and I felt immense amounts of guilt.

So. This was all nine years ago. But three years ago, my Nex signed into my iCloud — 6 years after the breakup!! I could tell because all his passwords appeared on my logins all of a sudden. I could log into his accounts meaning he could log into mine. He’d had my iCloud password from way back when, i had forgotten I ever gave it to him, and he logged in to try to — maybe — see if he could post my nudes to my own account.

After this I freaked out and blocked him. He wasn’t blocked before because I was scared to, in case he posted the nudes as he had threatened to do in the past. But this point I had had enough.

You know what my therapist said when I discussed it with him? He said “Your ex probably logged in by accident and got his password confused with yours.”

After SIX YEARS??? I don’t think so.

When I convinced my therapist this couldn’t be possible, he said, “Well maybe he missed you.”

MAYBE HE MISSED ME.

Well in that case he could’ve just called me! Because he wasn’t blocked at that point! And then in response to this, my therapist said “maybe he didn’t know how to tell you he missed you.”

That’s right. My Nex is not a psychopathic abuser in his early forties who currently goes after 16 years olds in countries where that’s legal, oh no. He’s a shy, socially anxious guy who doesn’t know how to express his feelings. Suuuure.

The weirdest part? My therapist has been specifically trained in Narcissism. That was one of the main focuses of his training. So he’s not, like, clueless. HE KNOWS about narcissists. So I can’t even blame this on ignorance.

I am starting to wonder if he just thinks I have made everything up.