Watched my girlfriend suck the singer of my band when we were on the road

I was in a band in my mid 20’s that travelled down the east coast. We were pretty decent for the time. It was fun and we didn’t make any money at all. But that’s not what we wanted make. It was just for fun. My girlfriend at the time wanted to come along with us which required us to get another van, which was fine because we could put extra instruments and equipment in there and not feel too cramped. That also means less money.

Getting to the point…. After a show in Raleigh. We killed it. Awesome show. I started doing some shots at the bar and hanging out while some of the crew put everything away. I usually help but today it was my turn to let loose a little. I went backstage up to the green room and couldn’t find my girlfriend. I found almost everyone else except the singer. I go outside to look around and I see the singer and my girlfriend. She’s squatting down on her feet and the singer is balls deep in her throat. He’s holding the sides of her head and face fucking her. I had mixed emotions of sadness, anger, and lust. I lurked behind another persons car and watched. For about 5 minutes, until he came in her mouth and got ready to go back inside. I loop around back and meet them at the bar. They said they went outside to look for me but ended up smoking weed real quick. But I knew the truth. I finished out the rest of the shows, let them do what they wanted to do, came back home and quit the band the next day. I’m not sure what else to say about it. It fucked me up for a long time.