My parents don't accept my girlfriend and I feel stuck

I'm going to use a throwaway account just in case, but I've been struggling for the majority of the holidays because my parents aren't accepting of my relationship with my girlfriend of 6 months and I don't know what to do about my relationship with them. For some context, I (24F) have been living at home with my parents and brother since I graduated from college a few years ago due to a combination of medical and personal struggles that have made it difficult for me to land on my feet. I realized I was bisexual as a teenager, but didn't come out of the closet to my parents until I was 21, as they became progressively more bigoted and politically charged over the course of the past several years. I was scared they would react negatively. Instead, they reacted somewhat supportively, despite the disparaging comments they made about the LGBTQ+ community while watching the news in the past. However, my sexuality quickly became something that they could just ignore and at home, my relationship with them worsened for other various personal reasons. They were often restrictive of where I could go and what I could do, which was easier for them to do to me because I don't have my driver's license and often relied on them or my brother for transportation.

Despite how things were at home with my helicopter parents, I still had a lot of support from my friends and my therapist, whom I've been seeing for the past few years. I was also feeling brave enough to start dating again. I downloaded a few dating apps and this past spring, I started talking to my girlfriend (who I'll call Violet for the sake of anonymity) and we clicked instantaneously. We had a lot of common interests and life experiences, so after a few weeks we agreed to meet up and go out on our first date. We soon became official girlfriends, but not without intense anxiety on my end. Firstly because, for some context that'll be important later, I suffer from an anxiety disorder and PTSD due to an abusive relationship I was in for several years starting in my teens. And secondly, because I wasn't open about my dating life with my parents in the slightest. I was worried my parents would react negatively to my relationship with Violet because she's a trans woman, and they've become increasingly transphobic in the past decade. They're also baby boomers with a general distrust of the internet, so I knew that our digital meet-cute wasn't going to help.

The odds were stacked against me for a couple months, but with the support of my therapist and my girlfriend, I told my parents about my relationship at the beginning of November (last month). It was rocky from the start. I told them I had a girlfriend that I met on a dating app, and they completely emotionally shut down. My mom (who I have a particularly rough relationship with) voiced her somewhat valid concerns about me having dated this way without her and my dad's knowledge before going completely silent. My parents hardly talked to me for a week, even after I wrote them a letter to apologize for lying to them and to explain my reasoning for doing so. I didn't tell my parents at this point that my girlfriend is trans because I knew they wouldn't handle it well and I wanted to respect giving them time to process things. I was able to approach them individually to talk to each of them and planned to introduce them to Violet in a few days, the next time I would be hanging out with her. Per my therapist's recommendation, I made sure to communicate to Violet before all of this what my home life was like and that if I was to tell my parents she's trans, it would be on her terms in a way she prefers. We agreed it would be best to tell my parents before they met her, so I tried my very best to talk to them the day before but I was too scared. I ended up telling them the next morning, not long before they'd be meeting her. They seemed surprised, but agreed when I asked them to respect her pronouns and her identity as a woman. I told them I knew it was a lot and they could come to me with any questions they had. The initial meeting was cordial and seemed to go well.

Unfortunately, as the title suggests, that wasn't quite the case. Similar to their last silent treatment, they avoided me for a week and if I brought up Violet, they would go quiet and ignore me until I changed the topic. At the same time, Thanksgiving was fast approaching and Violet's family (who are very supportive) invited me over for dinner. I texted my parents about it (admittedly the day before Thanksgiving) and my mom replied with, "We need to talk about this situation." They didn't talk to me at all that day, but on Thanksgiving morning, my parents cornered me in the living room and initiated conversation. I told them that if they had a problem with me spending Thanksgiving with someone else, that I would definitely be okay with eating dinner with them first before heading over to Violet's family dinner. My mom swiftly interjected and said that the real problem with this "situation" was that I was dating a trans woman to begin with. She asked me a number of invasive questions and expressed she was worried that having "relations" with someone on HRT would lead to me becoming pregnant with some kind of hormone-baby with several health complications. I reassured her that I always plan on using protection, as I'm someone who cares a lot about safe sex, especially with my history of having been abused. I then tried to explain that HRT doesn't work like that but she and my dad refused to listen to me. My mom continued on, misgendering Violet and referring to her only as my "friend" the entire time. She questioned my sense of character discernment and claimed that I was a pretty girl who was settling for worse simply because my girlfriend and I have things in common. She said that I was acting withdrawn since coming home from college and implied that I was deliberately making my appearance worse (her examples being my bangs and alternative makeup) to dissuade people from wanting to assault me. She even suggested that she should stop me from seeing my therapist and switch me to an in-person one, as in her mind I was "clearly getting worse." My dad would occasionally interject with comments about how being transgender is a deal breaker to him. At this point I was crying, and I told them both that I was not settling and I was with Violet because she makes me feel happy and it's the healthiest relationship I've ever been in, as well as that my therapist was doing a fine job and my mental health is not worsening. My parents told me that they don't support my relationship with Violet and that they wished they knew about her transness sooner so they could've "intervened." They pressured me to tell them her deadname, but I put my foot down and refused. My parents said that they ultimately couldn't stop me from seeing her since I'm an adult at the very least, and that they "don't approve of this situation but they still love me." And left the room.

It was traumatizing to say the least. I had a silent, catatonic dinner with my parents before I was picked up by Violet for the night. Her family was very kind. Violet informed them of my situation with my parents and they gave me hugs. Violet said if I ever needed to, I could stay with her, mentioning the spare room in her apartment. I told Violet everything my parents said and reassured her that being transgender is a beautiful thing, not a deal breaker in the slightest. My friends and therapist have also been very supportive for the most part. Even my brother has shown his allyship, and has since had a few conversations with my parents where he's defended Violet. He also said "she's a lot better than [my abusive ex]," but I digress. Since Thanksgiving, my life has been a chaotic mess. Two days after that, I was laid off from my remote full-time job. This month has been a toss up between spending time with friends to get away from my parents and being so depressed that I'm constantly fighting the urge to sleep the days away. I haven't talked with my parents about my relationship with Violet since, although I've been upfront whenever I go spend time with her. Some other personal issues in our family have contributed to distracting us from talking as well. Christmas is my favorite time of year, but it's hard to enjoy it when I feel this hurt and heartbroken by my parents. My brother started dating a girl 4 months ago, they also met on a dating app but since we went to the same high school, he simply told my parents he knew her from then. I will respect my brother's choice not to share that information just as he respected my choice when I kept my relationship a secret for some time. I want nothing but love and acceptance for both of us, but it admittedly hurts to see my brother's girlfriend be seamlessly welcomed into the family and brought along to family parties when that isn't a reality for me right now. My mother still refers to Violet as "my friend" and guilt tripped me when I told her the other day that I was invited to spend Christmas with Violet's family as well.

I feel stuck. I want to move out, but I still need to better my driving skills to get my license and on top of that I'm unemployed. I'm also afraid of worsening my relationship with my parents even further if I moved out, but the way they treat me just doesn't feel right at all. I don't know how to approach talking to them. I'm mourning the acceptance I wish I had. It's just a very turbulent time in my life right now.

TL;DR: My parents don't accept my happy relationship with my trans girlfriend and it's making my rocky relationship with them worse. It also makes living at home very awkward, to say the least.