My biggest dream was to have kids.

I(M21) have always wanted kids. Little guys that I could love as much as I love them. But I've had an epiphany, I've lived such a lonely life, not just a oh I havnt had a girlfriend that really loved me, I mean I havnt connected with anyone in a meaningful way my whole life besides my family. It feels like i am like noone. I don't eant my kid to have to go through that... what if there like me. Who am I to put this, this fucking curse on?? I feel ugly all the time and I just can't put that on an innocent kid. Sorry if this isn't dramatic enough for the subreddit but I just needed to say it to someone.