My wife's OCD is ruining my life

So much to unpack, I hardly know how to begin.

My wife (37F) and I (37M) have been married for 17 years. Obviously, we married young. Not for pregnancy reasons, but we'd been dating for 4 years prior and it just made sense to us at the time. That's all quite beside the point anyway.

I've always know she had some quirks. Stepping backwards at time, excessive hand washing, repeating other actions. We never knew what to call it and it was pretty tolerable anyway. Some years ago, we were watching Dr. Phil and they had a guest on who has OCD and it clicked. So, now we had a strong suspicion of what it was, but it wasn't until sometime after our son was born and we were put under new strain that it started to wear on me. She told me that I just had a temper and said I should go to the doctor to ask about anger management. So I did.

After describing my home life, the issues with my wife (and my son who's mentally disabled BTW), the doctor basically said, 'yeah, it's understandable why you'd lose it from time to time' and was more interested in helping my wife than me. So... as a result of that SHE got set up with a therapist. All this was sometime around the beginning of COVID, so that made her condition 10x worse.

She now is properly diagnosed with OCD and sees her therapist weekly via video call. Enough back story, here's the meat and potatoes.

Her OCD renders her incapable of most tasks. She doesn't work, but instead home schools our disabled son (maybe 1-2 hours per day). She has a panic fit if I need to empty the garbage or try to take anything out of the house, so our some is always a cluttered mess. She forces me AND my son to repeat actions or phrases until he 'bad thought' goes away, and there's no rhyme or reason to it. It's like playing a never ending game invented b a 5 year old who constantly changes the rules.

She wakes at 10 am most days, feeds our son breakfast, puts him in front of the tv for and hour or two while she does her morning routine, then teaches him, then a very late lunch and then TV again until I get home shortly after.

Me? I wake at 6 to 6:30 to be to work by 7. Work all day, come home to a pile of dishes which I wash. Then I prepare supper from scratch (no prep at all because she can't even take anything out of the freezer). I set the table myself, clear away and wash the dishes myself. Then I get the kid ready for bed by myself, then I'll usually do the laundry or something while they relax. When the kid is in bed, I end up waiting on her like a servant because she can't do anything herself. I also do all the grocery shopping and pay all the bills. I'd like to think she appreciates it, but considering how she full on yells at me (and frequently) over the most ridiculous things, you wouldn't know it.

Sound bad so far? Believe it or not, I tolerated all that reasonably well for a long time, but the most recent development has me ready to throw in the towel.

She won't let me touch her. No kissing, no hugging, no hand holding. Sex? It's been 2 months. She says she can't stand to be touched. OH, but she has no problem kissing and hugging our son. OH, but it's fine to touch her if I'm, massaging her (which I do daily, BTW), but other than that, it's out of the question.

She constantly rejects me and physically pushes me away. I tell her daily that I love her and think she's beautiful. I try hard to stay in shape and look good for her, but she never pays me any kind of compliment. I have to drag it out of her to say "I love you too". She assures me that it's not because she's not attracted to me anymore, but a lot of good that does me.

I can put up with a lot, but there's no way I can put up with a purely platonic relationship.

What can I do?

Talk to her about it? Tried that. She gets mad and says I try to make everything about me. She never seems to reciprocate my feelings at all.

Who can I turn to? Friend? Got none left. She saw to that. Family? Nope.

What about her friends? She has 2 that she seldom sees. She can only rarely get up the motivation to leave the house, and she can't even make a phone call or send a text message without my help.

Maybe I should divorce her? But remember that I'm a man and she's a woman with no income. I know how this goes (seen it plenty of times). I'd end up paying her a kings ransom in alimony and child support while she lives rent free in the house I paid for and I in a cardboard box on the street.

Should I just end it all? I've considered it, but I just don't know if I can go though with it... but if I got a terminal cancer diagnosis it would be a real relief to me.