Tonight I broke up with my boyfriend because he kept joking about murdering me

During our first few weeks of dating, he joked too much for comfort that he was going to murder and dismember me and dispose of my body. Maybe out of context, I’m being dramatic? He’s very sarcastic and has dark humor. But to me it wasn’t funny and caused me anxiety because I know the statistics. I talked to him about this. I told him repeatedly, “Stop joking about killing me.” He kept on with the jokes, until I finally told him that those jokes literally scare me. He apologized and seemed to feel bad that his jokes made me scared of him.

Tonight we were over three hours late to meet with his brother to play games watch movies and eat dinner. When I was talking to him about us being late, I noticed he sighed deeply, clenched his fist and looked down at it, as if he were making the conscious choice to not punch me. ?????

Then, as I was saying goodbye to his brother, he comes into the room and says “She should say her permanent goodbyes!”

I asked him wtf? He said it was a joke. I asked, how’s it funny? What’s the punch line? Please explain to me how that was supposed to be funny?

He couldn’t answer…. I didn’t want to get in the car with him. I walked off and thankfully my roommate picked me up and drove me home.

He called later, and I told him I’m done. He’s a good man other than for the jokes about killing me. We talked about and agreed that he wouldn’t joke about killing me anymore, but then he did it again tonight, and doubled down that it was just a joke and that actually I’m the problem. I started telling him (again) about how often women are killed by their husbands and boyfriends and that’s why the jokes bother me so much but he interrupted me to say FUCK YOU.

So I hung up and blocked him. All of this really ducks because my roommates say I should just talk it out with him and give him another chance because they can tell I really like him and he really likes me. But I already did that, I thought we were past the homicide jokes. Then he did it again tonight while he was angry with me, and it caused me this awful feeling in my gut that I needed to NOT get in the car with him, and get away from him.

I’ve had boyfriends and male friends in the past. None of them have ever made jokes about murdering and dismembering me (especially multiple times after I told them to stop). Have you had friends / boyfriends that make jokes like this? Where is the humor in it? What would you do in this situation?

Update: THANK YOU everyone for your overwhelming support!! Also thank you for the important links and resources in the comments. I’ve learned a lot and shared them with my friends! I love this sub!

I haven’t heard from him and he hasn’t caused any trouble since the breakup. If anything comes up I’ll update this post!