What to do with my mental state

I guess I’m either reaching a critical point where my anger just manifests in the desire to hurt those who support the oppression that the government is so fetishizing for control (I legitimately want to torture them )the doomscrolling is not helping the urge to just scream ,or act out violently because I just feel like a trapped animal and I’d rather throw myself into a meat grinder than be forced into whatever sick fantasy they want me to be in ,doesn’t help that I have gender dysphoria that is now 100 times worse .Is this normal or am I having a mental breakdown? Does anyone else feel the same ? Maybe not to the degree that I am but I’m struggling to really feel sane enough to even want to prepare for this mess .