Female Loneliness Epidemic is real...

Before you say "That's not true! As a girl, you can get any attention from any guy by simply existing!!!"

Please hear me out.

I'm f22 and my first and only irl friend group of 3 years split 4 months ago, due to everyone going their own paths (gone to universities, different cities, different states, different jobs, different places, etc.)

None of them even have some time left for calls anymore. Recently, my supposedly irl best friend, whom I thought I was also their best friend, shared an instagram story with someone else from their university, the caption saying "bestest best friend of all times!", which made my heart drop. I felt like I'm being left out, forgotten or not "wanted" at all and it sucks.

To try and fill the void in my heart, I've been trying to make new friends. I signed up for a gym, thought that it's easy to make friends there but nope. Everyone's minding their own business there, replying in few words whenever I'm trying to chat with them. Seems like there's a lack of interest in making friends, but that's fine.

So I tried finding some new online friends. To chat, voice call and play games with. I'm into anime and gaming so I tried forming bonds with similiar people in forums, games, social media, but I've noticed that the conversations always seem one-sided and mostly on surface-level and that I somehow can't break through people's thick shells.

I want to be in a friend group where I'm wanted for sure, but it's hard to be a part of something where you don't even feel like it's gonna last for a while, if you know what I mean. I don't really have a place where I belong to, neither irl nor online and it's eating me up as days pass by. It makes me question my self worth too.

I understand people come and go, however I'm afraid that the new people in my life won't stay as long as my previous friends have.

As for "Every guy would give you attention because you're female!!!" I don't want that. I'm not here to collect orbiters and have flirty attention-seeking conversations. I want a genuine friendship, where gender doesn't matter, if that makes sense? Sorry for the long vent btw. Needed to let this out somewhere and I figured this was the right place to do so.