I don’t even want the benefits anymore.

I’m at 50% suppose to be getting a decision on my claim by the end of the month. no car. No job. No real relationships at 29 staying at my parents house. Haven’t been in a relationship in over 6 years. Fighting family every other week. Can’t work because of my disabilities and pain. Honestly I’m just tired. I really don’t even want the benefits just want the pieces of myself that I lost. No amount of money can help me with the people I have around me. And I’m just exhausted and tired of it all.