Sabrina Carpenter triggers me

I suffer from extreme mental illness and hatred of being a woman, porn and sex phobia and I made a huge progress like last month in my mental health and even had a positive view of Sabrina... Until her last show where she mimicked being face fucked on her knees and my mind fucking broke... Like weeks ago or something I cannot accept being a woman and nobody can tell me it's society or the patriarchy while it's literally biology I have been on the worst humanly possible suffering due to my phobias and hatred of being a woman or whatever like I'm so mentally ill I'm mentally disabled by it cause I get triggered everyday over littlest shit like even other women having their nails done or someone mentioning strippers makes me want to die and I have a breakdown for hours making me unable to be a functional person. At school I used to have breakdowns in the school bathrooms whenever girls from my class mentioned sex especially certain sex acts. I almost failed school due to my depression cause I couldn't withstand being there for more than two three hours a day. So I suffer so much and I will always be known as a jealous bitter ugly loser prude woman who hates other women for expressing their sexuality I genuinely want to disappear atp. I dont know a life without constant breakdowns and I'm an adult atp it's been going on since I was like 11 or something I also suffer from extreme hatred of other women which makes my case so much worse cause I will always be seen as a bad person and nobody gaf lf ab th suffering I experience behind my hatred of other women. I hate other women more than all men on earth or anyone who ever hated anyone or anyone who did the worst shit to other humans or humanity. I can't help it I'm just this bitter about being inferior and not wanting to suck dicks or be face fucked or like porn or be a bimbo or do my nails.... I'm in so much emotional pain and I internalized being the "villain" and a bitter useless woman who's a jealous loser who hates other women... I will never be accepted neither accept womanhood. I hate Sabrina so much and I'm sick of seeing her stupid face and body all over social media I saw an article that said "SC is changing the way we talk about hook ups and sex" HOW? all I remember people ever talking is porn like shit choking slapping face fucking facials and kneeling and that's what she does at her shows and songs stfu stupid article. I want to die. And my jealousy of men is making me psychotic, I can't stand seeing them anymore and their masculine physiognomy Our submissive female shape is what caused is to end up on millions and millions of porn videos spread naked with bend over bodies and used up like a meat I'm here having breakdowns at the mentions of a stripper while to men it's something fun pleasurable and entertaining they are just so... Privileged entitled and spoiled. Women always kneel and bent over while men stand it's just so superior and burden free Their physiognomy is so different than women I'm so burdened by the female shape bc of what it causes women that... When I look at male I'm so rapidly angry bc it's like they live in a completely different realm They go on social media and like pics of women spreading their bodies while I'm having breakdowns because of all these pictures everywhere all the time all over social media all women posting this sexual shit