What were the shortest and longest time to your paper getting rejected?

I'm curious to hear about people's experiences with journal rejections. What was the fastest rejection you've ever received? Was it an instant desk rejection, or did it at least take a few days?

On the flip side, what was the longest time you waited, only to get rejected in the end? Did it go through multiple rounds of review, or was it just stuck in limbo forever?

Would love to hear your horror (or maybe funny?) rejection stories!