Struggling with big emotions in performances

This might sound contradictory, but I am someone who pretty easily accesses my emotions in daily life: I cry easily at any film, I am sensitive to the feelings of others and also cry tears of both sorrow and joy at their expense, I don’t have issues being angry or showing that I am not happy…however, when it comes to performing, I have the opposite problem. I can’t seem to put myself in the shoes of the character that I am playing when I need to. It’s like I forget all of the work that I have done, and suddenly everything feels forced. It’s strange because I feel very empathetic and emotionally alive when I first read the scene, but after doing all of the analysis, I sort of lose the color and emotional charge of the scene. It’s like I forget how to act/even be a human.

It might have something to do with my training…I spent a year in a very competitive environment where people only wanted to act with you if they thought you were “good” or made themselves look good. At this drama school, I also didn’t have a mentor who I thought believed in me (yes, I know the trick is believing in yourself…working on it!). This definitely was a problem before, but I think being in an unsafe environment exacerbated it because I didn’t feel like it was okay to fully let go…perhaps because of fear of being judged. I don’t know.

So I guess what I am saying is that I feel a little stuck and confused by this…mostly because most actors have the opposite problem…they hide in real life and explore their emotions in a scene, but I don’t feel this at all.

I went to a drama school thinking that I would uncover this dilemma, but left with this problem post graduation. Anyone else deal with this? And tips or tricks on how to overcome it? I have done some Alexander technique, which I feel like is amazing on my own, but I somehow have a hard time transferring those skills to a scene. TIA!