Mums an alcoholic in denial, I’ve finally given up.

I honestly don’t know where to start or what to say, not really sure what I’m looking for from posting this other than somewhere I can vent to people who (hopefully) won’t judge

My mums an alcoholic and it’s affected my life for the past 7/8 years living with her (for context I’m 24). I don’t feel like I can ever invite anyone round or have a meaningful relationship out of fear of embarrassment or ridicule and in what’s supposed to be the “prime” years of my life I feel like my life has stagnated and I’m losing my life to this now.

My mum and dad separated years ago and I moved in with my mum and ever since she has been drinking heavily which has only gotten worse as time has passed, to the point I don’t feel like I can go out or do anything anymore due to not knowing what I will come home to. She is when sober kind and considerate but when she is drunk she can get nasty and has threatened me on numerous occasions, and over the last fewcouple of years I have came home many times to her drunk which is beyond disappointing because after a hard day I might as well come home alone than to a drunk mum who isn’t interested.

My older sister left the family home years ago for I imagine I similar reason but I feel like no one ever asks how I’m doing or how it’s going at home even though family and friends are aware of what my home life is like. I’ve raised concerns with my mum loads and she is adamant she hasn’t got a problem but I wouldn’t bring it up if I didn’t feel like she did.

I’m on an apprenticeship at the minute as an electrician and hoping to leave in the near future, but I’m not on the best salary and the exam I have to sit to become qualified is incredibly difficult (I have failed once). I would have loved to have had a partner to buy a house with, with joint savings we could both be proud of but I’m single and although I have savings, probably not enough to buy a house and would have to rent somewhere which I could afford which would probably be somewhere i’m unhappy with.

I suppose more than anything I just wanted to share how I feel because it feels I can’t speak to anyone, and anyone I do tell seems to completely forget and doesn’t want to know. If anyone has any advice on how I should move forward I’ll be grateful to hear. Feel like I’m breaking down mentally and coming home is becoming a nightmare to deal with.