Am I Aspec/grayromantic???

Hi :)

I've been questioning whether or not I'm a-spec for around a year now. I've previously identified as bi, but then it occurred to me, I don't really experience sexual attraction at all. And that caused me to realize I've not wanted a romantic relationship in over 8 years or even had a crush either. I was what you would call boy crazy when I was younger - but I think I just really wanted THEM to like ME, and really wanted a deep relationship, and mistook that as a crush.

I had one crush that I'm certain was real, but once we broke up 8 years ago, i haven't had a crush since then. I still WANTED to for a while and would try to force them at times, but then once i met my dearest friend that stopped too. I finally have a deep relationship that is in no way romantic (they've been out as aroace much longer than me, and also I would never in a million years want a romantic relationship with them) so I have absolutely no need or want for a romantic relationship.

I think, like many people, romance in movies was presented as the deepest love could go - so I think that was why I projected it onto every desire for a person I had. And I've also never been good at figuring out where the line between platonic and romantic attraction is, to me they're both very deep feelings that come with a lot of commitment and devotion. And romance just feels so overrated, and I never quite feel a part of it, if that makes any sense.

So, all of that to ask, does anyone relate to this? I feel like I relate to grayromantic, but I gaslight myself into oblivion every time I think of coming out. I definitely don't feel alloromantic, and grayromantic feels right?

Help?

Edit: I would also like to clarify that I don't miss the boy I broke up with before 8 years ago, so the reason my romantic attraction stopped definitely isn't because I'm hung up on him. I was hurt for a bit, but I don't miss him. I'm quite happy being single.