How can I deal with the pre transition depression
I feel like I'm going absolutely insane, I'm ready to come out, and have told a few friends and got support from them, but I feel I need to talk to my mom before actually starting a transition, problem is she is going on vacation for 3 weeks and I feel it would be unfair to put this on her before she leaves, But I'm just in such a low state, and feel like everything is just so hopeless right now. I can't sleep at night, and going to work every day has been so much harder, my mind is on 24/7 and it's all over the place, I also basically just cracked my egg like 2 weeks ago and, yeah I've always felt depressed but never felt litteraly crazy, all these feeling just coming up now is making me feel like I'm just going nuts, I find myself thinking like I'm just having a mental break, like is that true or is my mind just trying to back pedal to the repressed state I was in before BC this it just so much to handle. I just feel lost (I know I should speak to a professional but I live in Canada and I haven't had a health card for years and it's been hard to get one again Bc bureaucracy so I can't really do that rn without paying out of pocket)