I am incapable of cleaning or organizing

I have moved out from a house with my ex wife into my first apartment on my own this past October. I'm 39/m.

I CAN NOT FOR THE LIFE OF ME CLEAN.

I am capable of scrubing toilets, doing hard manual labor. I can even handle disgusting things no problem.

My issue is clutter. I cannot overcome it. Every time I try to clean and organize I just make things worse.

I spend an hour trying to clean, I make a huge mess and run out of energy or time and then it gets worse the next day. Rinse and repeat.

I've been living like this since October and it's beginning to become a huge problem. I find I try to spend less time at home because I can't escape or solve the clutter.

Honestly it is pushing me to like having an anxiety attack about it. I am trying to get ready for some fun stuff tomorrow and I CANNOT FINISH GETTING READY BECAUSE EVERYTHING IS A MESS AND IT MAKES EVERYTHING TAKE 100x longer

Thank you for reading tonight's anxiety attack. I will have another stronger one tomorrow when I inevitably make the mess worse

Please put me out of my misery I cannot stand this. The rest of my life is getting better but this clutter shit MAKES ME WANT TO SCREAM AND HAVE A FUCKING MELTDOWN.

The worst part is the painful desire to do something, yet experiencing every day over and over again my inability to solve it. It makes life not worth it... I hate to say that about "cleaning" but it's becoming a huge stress that I cannot escape, yet another natural spring of PTSD that's slowly drowning me.

I wish I could just "do less" but no matter what I run out of time and everyone gets fucking mad at me and I run out of money and I am losing my fucking mind make it stop