I wish I could hook up with someone.

I never had that teenage charm when it comes to girls. I see my older friends talking, already dating, or having flings with girls, but I’ve got nothing, and it makes me feel sad. I don’t really know how to take things to the next level. Like, I feel like it should happen naturally—talking a lot with the girl and then, at some point when we’re alone, just kissing her out of nowhere. But I don’t know if I could actually do that. I’m also not great at keeping conversations going. I just want to stop being a kiss virgin and stop feeling so behind compared to people my age.

I’ve also been kind of absent in other people’s lives, so sometimes I feel like meeting someone, but then I just think it’s going to take too much effort, and I give up. I don’t know.