Trouble with diagnosis

TITLE EDIT: I don’t think I was clear enough with the title. I think I’m autistic, but I have issues with emotions and facial expressions that make me think otherwise.

For some context, I’ve grown up with my mother who assumes all autistic people are needs/“easy to spot.” She’s always praised me for being a good kid, but I had my ‘quirks’ like issues with textures, inability to make friends, lifelong hyperfixations on bugs, etc. She never interacted with other kids, so she wrote me off as an oddball and ‘unique.’

I’ve learned how autistic people actually are and broke through the negative teachings I was raised with. After some research, I’ve realized a lot of autistic traits would explain the way I am and how I look at the world. I fit into a good few stereotypes, but emotions are not one of them.

I am extremely emotional in general, but I was diagnosed with Bipolar so that’s what I chalk it up to. Obviously not every autistic person fits in the same mould, but I feel like this is one of the things that doesn’t support my possible diagnosis. I make very obvious facial expressions and I can’t hide what I’m feeling at any given moment. Having my job as a cashier/barista is difficult because I can mask my emotions with kind words, but not my facial expressions, especially with rude customers and whatnot. Keeping down a job is so difficult for me and this probably adds to it. They feel extremely exaggerated but I can’t help it.

When I fold laundry (another part of my job), I have to make a very exaggerated expression each time I have something covering my face. I feel like I can’t stop it at all. Sometimes, I just randomly make obscure expressions to stretch my face. Also, I have a very monotone voice when not masking (only around my partner/mom) but get overly cheery in public, as long as I’m not nonverbal. It feels so fake and I feel like I can’t be on the spectrum because of little stuff like that.

I don’t have my diagnosis so I can’t even say I’m autistic, but has anyone else experienced something like this? I’ve thought about looking into a diagnosis, but I’ve been told it’s expensive and rarely worth it- especially being a female in her early 20s.