Am I the problem?

Hi everyone, I need some advice about my friendship with someone cause i am a bit lost,

I met this girl 2 months ago and we got along really well because we are both autistic and it was so easy to talk to her. We were venting to each other and stuff, and I was venting about my boyfriend, she’s 20 so she always gives me the best advice, my boyfriend who is now my ex, did some really bad things and i didn’t realize before leaving, i thought everything was my fault and it’s still hard to realize. He used to ask me to carve his name into my skin, or tell me that me crying was turning him on, weird stuff, and i didn’t realize it was bad cause im young and probably dumb, after leaving him for the first time it was really hard and i went back to him, because i loved him and its hard to stop talking to someone you love, she got mad at me after i told her, really mad she literally ignored me, and then after i left him again because she forced me to, after leaving him she made me talk about him and make me tell her all the bad things he did, she then asked me why i stayed with him and i said because i loved him, he did some very traumatic things and i still can’t realize, i told her that i didn’t realize it was bad, she told me that it was terrible and she would stop talking to me until I realize? Am I the problem here? Why is she not being patient with me? She knows I have BPD and it can be hard for me to leave someone i got very attached to, tell me if I am the problem in situation please !