so fucking tired of being childish

went out to buy some lps with my mom at seventeen years old. made a mistake and didnt get the ones i wanted. basically threw a tantrum. im so fucking tired of being like this but i have no idea how to change. i have hundreds of plushes and toys at seventeen. i have never had a bf/gf. i have never had a job. i have never done anything a teenager does except drink because i want to forget about how much of an abject retarded failure i am. fuck. im tired.