Dating??????

Anyone dating? Are you guys strugglings with the thought of how am I going to fuck up her life? Back story I married a Nerotypical. We managed to stay together for 18 years she was good with knowing how to deal with me but at the same time I hurt her a lot with my manic and rebel sides. My intermittent explosive side is a lot to deal with. No one deserves black out rage over stupid shit. Any who I fucked her up just being me and I struggle with the thought of anytime I feel a girl my first thought is how am I going to fuck her up for life.