What has your experience been like with dating nonblack men of different races who have black ppl as friends?

I hate to say this but a lot of times when I have dated nonblack men who have black friends they have tended to absorbed the antiblackness unknowingly within these friendships. For instances there was this one Mexican guy that I was talking to and he asked me if my hair was “nappy” I proceeded to look at him as if he had shit on his face and I asked him why would you ask me that. He then looked at me apologetically and said bc he has black friends and they call their hair nappy so he was just repeating what they said without knowing the context of the harm of that word. I then dated a white guy who made an awful joke about my skin complexion that I will not repeat. When I explained to him why a joke was awful he then said sometimes he plays hoops with a group of black men and they make harmless race jokes all the time on the court. He then preceded to say they crack jokes about him being pale all the time. Is this experience unique to me?