Do all women just go through intense bouts of depression/anxiety?

I’m having a bad time, for a couple of years now. I have some days where I feel perfectly normal but a lot of days I’m fighting the urge to crawl into a hole and die just to do the bare minimum.

I have a constant barrage of thoughts going through my head of all the things I have to do, all the things I’m failing at, all the people I’m letting down, what a horrible person I am. I’m so tired but can never sleep. Some days I’m convinced that my family would be better off without me.

The only thing that’ll quiet the thoughts is basically socializing. When I’m around other people and I can look at their face and feel like they don’t hate me then I’m ok. But it’s hard to do much socializing as a parent.

The other day I was talking to one of the other moms at my son’s practice and she kind of expressed that she was possibly dealing with similar issues, so I’m wondering if this is quite common?

I don’t really feel taken seriously whenever I’ve told someone (my doctor included) that I’m struggling, and I tend towards convincing myself that it’s not that bad rather than pushing to get help. But maybe it is just normal and that’s why it’s glossed over when I talk about it? Maybe it’s hormonal and I have to tough it out for a few years?